digitalized: (Misc ♪ Choking)
On the topic of LJ, they're trying to salvage things by giving vague promises again. Not exactly very promising, but what can I do. The future (broken down here) looks bleak.

Rereading Lord of the Rings lately, and I dreamed about owning the one ring last night. I went all MINE, ALL MINE and was panicking and running around obsessing over hiding the ring. There was also a Gollum-like creature running after me, so basically I was Gollum 2 hiding from Gollum 1.5. I think my subconscious is telling me that I wouldn't last one second under the ring's power.

I can never give conscious book reports, mostly because I'm usually not thinking about anything at all. But here's a stream of thoughts just because I can. )

As for J-pop, lots of things happened, but I don't care enough to write about any of it now. I still care, about certain groups and people especially, but I haven't been feeling like ranting about anything. That's strange for me, at least.

Lacking enthusiasm for everything lately. Thinking about graduation hurts my brain. I really have no solid plan, beyond depending on other people. Most days I think the only reason I haven't strayed from this career is because I can't think of anything else I might want to do. I bring nothing to this world and probably shouldn't be here at all, but I'm stubborn enough to stay here and take up all your resources and not feel guilty about it.

Bleh, I didn't mean to end on such a depressing tone. I'm not usually that melodramatic, I swear!
digitalized: (Misc ♪ Choking)
On the topic of LJ, they're trying to salvage things by giving vague promises again. Not exactly very promising, but what can I do. The future (broken down here) looks bleak.

Rereading Lord of the Rings lately, and I dreamed about owning the one ring last night. I went all MINE, ALL MINE and was panicking and running around obsessing over hiding the ring. There was also a Gollum-like creature running after me, so basically I was Gollum 2 hiding from Gollum 1.5. I think my subconscious is telling me that I wouldn't last one second under the ring's power.

I can never give conscious book reports, mostly because I'm usually not thinking about anything at all. But here's a stream of thoughts just because I can. )

As for J-pop, lots of things happened, but I don't care enough to write about any of it now. I still care, about certain groups and people especially, but I haven't been feeling like ranting about anything. That's strange for me, at least.

Lacking enthusiasm for everything lately. Thinking about graduation hurts my brain. I really have no solid plan, beyond depending on other people. Most days I think the only reason I haven't strayed from this career is because I can't think of anything else I might want to do. I bring nothing to this world and probably shouldn't be here at all, but I'm stubborn enough to stay here and take up all your resources and not feel guilty about it.

Bleh, I didn't mean to end on such a depressing tone. I'm not usually that melodramatic, I swear!
digitalized: lost in the world (J-Pop ♪ NEWS ♫ Wants)
I had the weirdest dream featuring Massu. I don't even know why! I like him well enough, I love his dancing style, but that's pretty much it.

And then he pops up in my dream and is way too sweet for anyone who has a real life counterpart. Which made me realize OH MY GOD, I AM SUCH A GIRL. Not that I wasn't always, but I was in complete shy!fangirl mode. I AM TOO EMBARRASSED TO EVEN WRITE ABOUT THIS DREAM. Just, note that I'm a complete girl.

So many random details and I think Ryo appeared at one point but who cares because oh my god Massu. I don't even KNOW. MY BRAIN THINKS FOR ITSELF.
digitalized: lost in the world (J-Pop ♪ NEWS ♫ Wants)
I had the weirdest dream featuring Massu. I don't even know why! I like him well enough, I love his dancing style, but that's pretty much it.

And then he pops up in my dream and is way too sweet for anyone who has a real life counterpart. Which made me realize OH MY GOD, I AM SUCH A GIRL. Not that I wasn't always, but I was in complete shy!fangirl mode. I AM TOO EMBARRASSED TO EVEN WRITE ABOUT THIS DREAM. Just, note that I'm a complete girl.

So many random details and I think Ryo appeared at one point but who cares because oh my god Massu. I don't even KNOW. MY BRAIN THINKS FOR ITSELF.
digitalized: lost in the world (J-Pop ♪ NEWS ♫ Tilted)
Received my assignment for the NEWS fic exchange! My first attempt at a fic exchange, I'm nervous. Thank goodness the preferred pairings aren't too different from mine, so I can probably whip something up. But all the ideas I'm getting now sound so DULL and BORING and, eeek.

Can't say much else without giving too much away, but I'M NERVOUS. And I actually already have 1000 words written, but it's getting nowhere. WHERE ARE MY PLOT BUNNIES WHEN I NEED THEM?

I had an exciting dream yesterday, though. In which Shige and Snape (yes, that one) might have appeared, but neither are important. Mainly, I could turn into birds and fly among planes, but I often come close to crashing into one. Then Tegoshi learns flying from me, but he ended up crashing into a plane. And because I'm terrified people might blame me, I fly away in fear and at some point turn into a snake to avoid being found.

Also some stuff about going close to a cliff and getting attacked by larger eagles (I'm a hawk, I think). Then I had to drop from the cliff, and try to avoid crashing as I come close to the ocean. Town's in front. It was pretty cool, dream-like but. Exciting in that dream-like way.

Why am I constantly flying, hiding and running away from something in dreams? Not that I don't like the dreams, I actually do enjoy them a lot. They're fun, lol xDD
digitalized: lost in the world (J-Pop ♪ NEWS ♫ Tilted)
Received my assignment for the NEWS fic exchange! My first attempt at a fic exchange, I'm nervous. Thank goodness the preferred pairings aren't too different from mine, so I can probably whip something up. But all the ideas I'm getting now sound so DULL and BORING and, eeek.

Can't say much else without giving too much away, but I'M NERVOUS. And I actually already have 1000 words written, but it's getting nowhere. WHERE ARE MY PLOT BUNNIES WHEN I NEED THEM?

I had an exciting dream yesterday, though. In which Shige and Snape (yes, that one) might have appeared, but neither are important. Mainly, I could turn into birds and fly among planes, but I often come close to crashing into one. Then Tegoshi learns flying from me, but he ended up crashing into a plane. And because I'm terrified people might blame me, I fly away in fear and at some point turn into a snake to avoid being found.

Also some stuff about going close to a cliff and getting attacked by larger eagles (I'm a hawk, I think). Then I had to drop from the cliff, and try to avoid crashing as I come close to the ocean. Town's in front. It was pretty cool, dream-like but. Exciting in that dream-like way.

Why am I constantly flying, hiding and running away from something in dreams? Not that I don't like the dreams, I actually do enjoy them a lot. They're fun, lol xDD
digitalized: lost in the world (J-Pop ♪ Koichi ♫ Joyful)
Another dream I remember and can talk about in detail, and I decide to write it down. Again. Its the only thing I seem to be able to write about aside from random bad!fics and fangirlish ramblings.

My first time dreaming about a Johnny's Entertainment member (yesterday night) and no, its not Nakamaru Yuuichi, or anyone from KAT-TUN. Its not anyone I ever consciously paid attention to. Its, erm, Domoto Koichi. Yes, from KinKi Kids. And even though I listen to their songs a lot, I'm not really a KinKi Kids fan (as in, aside from their songs I don't really pay them any attention). I don't get my brain (not like anyone really does, right?).

DOMOTO KOICHI. And other madness, like physics. )

There's also this part when I was about to enter a changing room after swimming, but a guy (NOT anyone I know, just a random guy) goes in first and I try meekly to tell him this is the female changing room but either fails to or the guy's pervert. Either way, I walk out, and stand there in the hallway wondering what I should do. Someone tells me there's another changing room upstairs and I went there to change. I think I'm still on the summer camp at this point, but that's about it.
digitalized: lost in the world (J-Pop ♪ Koichi ♫ Joyful)
Another dream I remember and can talk about in detail, and I decide to write it down. Again. Its the only thing I seem to be able to write about aside from random bad!fics and fangirlish ramblings.

My first time dreaming about a Johnny's Entertainment member (yesterday night) and no, its not Nakamaru Yuuichi, or anyone from KAT-TUN. Its not anyone I ever consciously paid attention to. Its, erm, Domoto Koichi. Yes, from KinKi Kids. And even though I listen to their songs a lot, I'm not really a KinKi Kids fan (as in, aside from their songs I don't really pay them any attention). I don't get my brain (not like anyone really does, right?).

DOMOTO KOICHI. And other madness, like physics. )

There's also this part when I was about to enter a changing room after swimming, but a guy (NOT anyone I know, just a random guy) goes in first and I try meekly to tell him this is the female changing room but either fails to or the guy's pervert. Either way, I walk out, and stand there in the hallway wondering what I should do. Someone tells me there's another changing room upstairs and I went there to change. I think I'm still on the summer camp at this point, but that's about it.
digitalized: lost in the world (Spaced Out)
I had...one of the weirdest dreams ever. Dreams, as in, everytime I wake up from it, I fall back asleep and go back into the same dream before I wake up again. It's all very surreal. Except for the part that I flew in my dreams. Because I think I've come to terms with the fact that yep, I fly in 9/10 of my dreams, whatever.

So, at some point, I'm practicing how to fly with a few others. Higher, faster, just so we can get around - and away - easier. We're in a fairly dark city with high buildings (think Gotham), so it's pretty cool, I guess. Because I've had the most experience (I fly in more than half of my dreams?), I can fly pretty well, and so I just go around and around practicing. Dropping height suddenly is not fun, so I try not to...it doesn't work like that though.

There's also something about the distance between love and hate but I can't really remember. Anyway, all of a sudden I'm from some sort of family that can work some magic, and we pick up a classmate from one of my classes. He's turned into a kid and can't quite go back to his family, so we keep him at home.

Then I'm at this grandma-like person's home, except she starts doing creepy stuff, and I realized that she's evil. You know, like in all dreams, nothing really makes sense. So I escape (via flying, what else?) and rush back to my family to announce the news. We try to sneak into her lair, but apparently she's really powerful so we had to escape. For reasons unbeknown to me, my classmate was caught, and thus I had to carry him out.

Anyway. Later the evil witch attacks, and we try to hide. I was hiding in a wardrobe, and we heard noises outside so we try to keep quiet and hope whoever it is goes away. Then other cousins and stuff (who all have some form of magic, I think) come in, and we set up a barrier together.

Finally the evil!witch came, but her minions can't get past the invisible wall we set up. I try to attack them through the wall though, and it's kind of fun - I can get past the barrier, so I try to do that as fast as possible and attack, then withdraw so I wouldn't get hurt.

We realize that even with our powers combined there's no way we can win, so we try to escape. One by one we fly into the air, and somehow...my non-magic classmate can fly too. I have no idea. And also, yay, all of us are safe and we gather together in several cars. Flying in a large city is fun, but it has to end and we drive.

...Erm, into another world, I guess. In between these two parts I woke and fell asleep and woke, so it's kind of cut apart. Next time I woke I'm in a comfy bed, attempting to fly. But someone stops me and says we can't fly in this world because no one else has magic here, so I had to set on the floor. It's like the Real!World(TM), so everything's pretty boring.

Oh, and my classmate who's turned into a kid came with us into this world and grew up a little. He agreed to come with us because, well, he's turned into a kid and he doesn't really want to stay with his abusive parents anyway. Or something. I have no idea, actually.

After five years, we go back to our world...via cars. You know, again. When we got back, the entire world's restarted, and it's been twenty years something. The evil!witch took over that world, but was overthrown and is currently dead, and everything's mostly destroyed so it's empty with mythic creatures flying all around. Someone comes out and blames my family (with magic, which most do not have?) for not helping during the war, but I still felt it's the best choice because we're humans, we're selfish, and none of my family are dead.

Yeah, whatever. It's what I felt at the time. It ends with us promising that we'd help rebuild this world with our magic. I think my classmate's parents are still around, but I'm not entirely sure. We've become somewhat like friends, even if I'm not sure whether he ever turned back to his original age. I don't even know who he is, actually. He's just "someone who was my classmate" in my mind.

The end. It's pretty exciting and fun. Flying is cool too, but I've done it so many times in dreams I'm not sure whether I should be happy about it or not. Meow.
digitalized: lost in the world (Spaced Out)
I had...one of the weirdest dreams ever. Dreams, as in, everytime I wake up from it, I fall back asleep and go back into the same dream before I wake up again. It's all very surreal. Except for the part that I flew in my dreams. Because I think I've come to terms with the fact that yep, I fly in 9/10 of my dreams, whatever.

So, at some point, I'm practicing how to fly with a few others. Higher, faster, just so we can get around - and away - easier. We're in a fairly dark city with high buildings (think Gotham), so it's pretty cool, I guess. Because I've had the most experience (I fly in more than half of my dreams?), I can fly pretty well, and so I just go around and around practicing. Dropping height suddenly is not fun, so I try not to...it doesn't work like that though.

There's also something about the distance between love and hate but I can't really remember. Anyway, all of a sudden I'm from some sort of family that can work some magic, and we pick up a classmate from one of my classes. He's turned into a kid and can't quite go back to his family, so we keep him at home.

Then I'm at this grandma-like person's home, except she starts doing creepy stuff, and I realized that she's evil. You know, like in all dreams, nothing really makes sense. So I escape (via flying, what else?) and rush back to my family to announce the news. We try to sneak into her lair, but apparently she's really powerful so we had to escape. For reasons unbeknown to me, my classmate was caught, and thus I had to carry him out.

Anyway. Later the evil witch attacks, and we try to hide. I was hiding in a wardrobe, and we heard noises outside so we try to keep quiet and hope whoever it is goes away. Then other cousins and stuff (who all have some form of magic, I think) come in, and we set up a barrier together.

Finally the evil!witch came, but her minions can't get past the invisible wall we set up. I try to attack them through the wall though, and it's kind of fun - I can get past the barrier, so I try to do that as fast as possible and attack, then withdraw so I wouldn't get hurt.

We realize that even with our powers combined there's no way we can win, so we try to escape. One by one we fly into the air, and somehow...my non-magic classmate can fly too. I have no idea. And also, yay, all of us are safe and we gather together in several cars. Flying in a large city is fun, but it has to end and we drive.

...Erm, into another world, I guess. In between these two parts I woke and fell asleep and woke, so it's kind of cut apart. Next time I woke I'm in a comfy bed, attempting to fly. But someone stops me and says we can't fly in this world because no one else has magic here, so I had to set on the floor. It's like the Real!World(TM), so everything's pretty boring.

Oh, and my classmate who's turned into a kid came with us into this world and grew up a little. He agreed to come with us because, well, he's turned into a kid and he doesn't really want to stay with his abusive parents anyway. Or something. I have no idea, actually.

After five years, we go back to our world...via cars. You know, again. When we got back, the entire world's restarted, and it's been twenty years something. The evil!witch took over that world, but was overthrown and is currently dead, and everything's mostly destroyed so it's empty with mythic creatures flying all around. Someone comes out and blames my family (with magic, which most do not have?) for not helping during the war, but I still felt it's the best choice because we're humans, we're selfish, and none of my family are dead.

Yeah, whatever. It's what I felt at the time. It ends with us promising that we'd help rebuild this world with our magic. I think my classmate's parents are still around, but I'm not entirely sure. We've become somewhat like friends, even if I'm not sure whether he ever turned back to his original age. I don't even know who he is, actually. He's just "someone who was my classmate" in my mind.

The end. It's pretty exciting and fun. Flying is cool too, but I've done it so many times in dreams I'm not sure whether I should be happy about it or not. Meow.
digitalized: lost in the world (Knifed Through)
I dream. Usually around once a week, I wake up remembering a dream with clarity. But yeah, these past two days, I'm totally suffering from the flu and drop dead asleep in between every single class I have. During those ten minutes, I manage to fall dead asleep and dream, and so far I've managed to remember about six of them. In two days.

They range from about everything. From my usual deal of flying (I've dreamed so much of this it's not even funny anymore) to, well, total and utter fandomness including dreaming of myself as the characters or dreaming of meeting the characters in person. After reading a greek!myth-fied Wincest (which is totally amazing in every way), I dreamed [spoiler about the fic] Dean cutting his own wings off. In the way Sam was described to dream. [/spoiler] There's also something about me pulling a necklace off someone's neck while being turned into cardboard boxes.

I should probably stop watching television or something. All those images are, like, consuming my brain and eating it away. Even if I don't really watch television at all; it's all on my dear computer. Or, I don't know, I should probably actually get a good night's sleep. I've been working on less than five hours of sleep a day for, hmmm, about two months? And being sick doesn't help.
digitalized: lost in the world (Knifed Through)
I dream. Usually around once a week, I wake up remembering a dream with clarity. But yeah, these past two days, I'm totally suffering from the flu and drop dead asleep in between every single class I have. During those ten minutes, I manage to fall dead asleep and dream, and so far I've managed to remember about six of them. In two days.

They range from about everything. From my usual deal of flying (I've dreamed so much of this it's not even funny anymore) to, well, total and utter fandomness including dreaming of myself as the characters or dreaming of meeting the characters in person. After reading a greek!myth-fied Wincest (which is totally amazing in every way), I dreamed [spoiler about the fic] Dean cutting his own wings off. In the way Sam was described to dream. [/spoiler] There's also something about me pulling a necklace off someone's neck while being turned into cardboard boxes.

I should probably stop watching television or something. All those images are, like, consuming my brain and eating it away. Even if I don't really watch television at all; it's all on my dear computer. Or, I don't know, I should probably actually get a good night's sleep. I've been working on less than five hours of sleep a day for, hmmm, about two months? And being sick doesn't help.
digitalized: lost in the world (Say a Prayer)
I had the weirdest dream last night. They say dreams are your subconcious, but I wouldn't do anything like that; not in a million years. I've considered it a thousand times already, and I figured I would be slightly sad, but I wouldn't chose something quite as dramatic as that.

So. I dreamed that I sold my soul for my sister, and was given a year. The whole dream was set on the last day I had living. And I'm not even close to my sis', I don't talk to her like, ever, and she doesn't even appear in my dream.

Instead, all I felt and saw was the blinding panic that I'm going to hell later that day, and how I needed to do something, anything, to make sure that my life had left something. I was partying - not heavy-party, but casually like I just wanted to try to relax before whatever happens. And there was the fear, even if it couldn't be true it felt true and that was all there is to it, actually. Just fear and dread along with the acceptance. Some point there I talked to my mom a little, but I couldn't remember what was there.

Then, well, I woke up, and wondered where the hell that dream came from. Since most of the time I just hate my sister, not that I would want her dead or anything. Then I suddenly remembered Dean Winchester and his deal and, well, damn. My first time dreaming about Supernatural (not that I dream about my fandoms often, usually just in screencaps) and none of the characters are even there. Instead, there's just this weird version of me coping with the deal, and.

I'm not Dean Winchester, dude. And my sister is no where close to being Sam Winchester. It's all just a dream and fake and all, but it felt like it was real and it felt like I was going to die. And go to hell and feel pain for eternity. It still felt like I just experienced the process of whatever it was. Not a nightmare, no; nothing painful or frightening happened. It had a very slow pace.

I think I woke up a little different today. I'm not sure how to explain it, just. I feel different.
digitalized: lost in the world (Say a Prayer)
I had the weirdest dream last night. They say dreams are your subconcious, but I wouldn't do anything like that; not in a million years. I've considered it a thousand times already, and I figured I would be slightly sad, but I wouldn't chose something quite as dramatic as that.

So. I dreamed that I sold my soul for my sister, and was given a year. The whole dream was set on the last day I had living. And I'm not even close to my sis', I don't talk to her like, ever, and she doesn't even appear in my dream.

Instead, all I felt and saw was the blinding panic that I'm going to hell later that day, and how I needed to do something, anything, to make sure that my life had left something. I was partying - not heavy-party, but casually like I just wanted to try to relax before whatever happens. And there was the fear, even if it couldn't be true it felt true and that was all there is to it, actually. Just fear and dread along with the acceptance. Some point there I talked to my mom a little, but I couldn't remember what was there.

Then, well, I woke up, and wondered where the hell that dream came from. Since most of the time I just hate my sister, not that I would want her dead or anything. Then I suddenly remembered Dean Winchester and his deal and, well, damn. My first time dreaming about Supernatural (not that I dream about my fandoms often, usually just in screencaps) and none of the characters are even there. Instead, there's just this weird version of me coping with the deal, and.

I'm not Dean Winchester, dude. And my sister is no where close to being Sam Winchester. It's all just a dream and fake and all, but it felt like it was real and it felt like I was going to die. And go to hell and feel pain for eternity. It still felt like I just experienced the process of whatever it was. Not a nightmare, no; nothing painful or frightening happened. It had a very slow pace.

I think I woke up a little different today. I'm not sure how to explain it, just. I feel different.
digitalized: lost in the world (Close to the Sun)
I had the weirdest dream last Saturday night. I slept nearly thirteen hours that day, and sometime during that I dreamed about this really boring little shop that sells random lame stuff such as glow-in-the-dark paint (I admit, I bought them once) and 3D stickers. Basically a really lame store in every aspect.

Then yeah, my brother pointed out something he wanted and it's a brain-shaped half-glowly thing in a plastic wrapping (the kind that makes you think it's going to fall apart with a gentle tug). Then he walked away to look at other stuff, while I read the description.

And this thing just so happens to be something that can paint brains. Basically something like 'Did you know your brain's pink? Don't you think it's a boring color? Paint it!...' and random words. Then it said something about influencing the brain and lowering it's abilities, so I told my brother and he said he didn't wanted it anymore.

Then me, my brother, my sister and my mom walked out of the store.

The point of this? Never sleep more than five hours. It does weird things to your brain.
digitalized: lost in the world (Close to the Sun)
I had the weirdest dream last Saturday night. I slept nearly thirteen hours that day, and sometime during that I dreamed about this really boring little shop that sells random lame stuff such as glow-in-the-dark paint (I admit, I bought them once) and 3D stickers. Basically a really lame store in every aspect.

Then yeah, my brother pointed out something he wanted and it's a brain-shaped half-glowly thing in a plastic wrapping (the kind that makes you think it's going to fall apart with a gentle tug). Then he walked away to look at other stuff, while I read the description.

And this thing just so happens to be something that can paint brains. Basically something like 'Did you know your brain's pink? Don't you think it's a boring color? Paint it!...' and random words. Then it said something about influencing the brain and lowering it's abilities, so I told my brother and he said he didn't wanted it anymore.

Then me, my brother, my sister and my mom walked out of the store.

The point of this? Never sleep more than five hours. It does weird things to your brain.

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